Saturday, July 11, 2015

I Don't Know Who I Am

05/21.

i wasn't kidding
when i said who i was
was in love with you,
because now that you're gone
i don't know who i am,
i might as well be nothing.
i do nothing,
i feel nothing,
and i'm worth nothing,
i've never been so far
from actually being something
and i really wish
that when i made you my everything
i could have left some room
for myself.

Recovery

05/09.

i will not apologize
for who i am anymore
or for the things
i cannot control.
i am not sorry
for being me,
i am all that i can be,
i am all that i was meant to be
and that should be enough,
there should be nothing wrong
with who i am
and i'm done with being sorry
for being me.

It Wasn't Easy

05/01.

i hope someday you read all these poems
even though i warned you not to
because then you'd see
it wasn't easy.
i fought this off for so long
and it truly was the last thing
i ever wanted to do
but with time,
pain keeps chiseling away
at the stone i tried to become
and i have to stop it sometime
before there's nothing left of me.

Done

04/30.

i'm
giving
up...
and there's nothing
poetic about it.

I'm Getting Tired of These Poems, Too

04/29.

i feel like i'm stuck.
i want things to be better again
so much that i'm going to try,
but i don't know if they can
and i don't know how much you want this
and i don't know how to feel
about anything anymore.
i'm just scared
but i love you;
that much i've always been sure of.

No More of This

04/28.

i want to be with you all the way
or not at all,
no more of this halfway stuff,
no more of this i-don't-know-
what-i'm-allowed-to-say stuff
no more holding on
to something i don't even understand
no more wondering
what you think of me,
no more thinking
you may never love me again,
no more being stuck in the middle
of having it all
and having nothing at all.
i can't do this anymore.

Avoiding Your Problems

04/27.

just ignoring what i say
doesn't make it go away,
your refusal to answer
probably hurts more
than the truth.

you've always been one
to avoid all of your problems
but one day they're going to
catch up to you,
and it looks like i
might not be around
to help you through them.