Thursday, September 11, 2014

I Should Be Better

09/11.

maybe i should be stronger,
because you hate it when i cry.
i should be smarter,
because i make
so many mistakes.
i should be quieter,
because i say too much
and sometimes my words hurt.
i should be better,
because as perfect
as you say i am,
i still know
i'm not good enough.

Flat Tire

09/11.

if only it broke
more like a needle poked it
and less like a flat tire would,
completely busted
and misshapen,
maybe then i wouldn't be
terrified of my own
possible fate

and i got a flat tire
this week too,
because everything is going wrong
and i think we
just about
ran out of luck
but i don't want
to run out of love, too

but i always thought
that i'd handle this
much better,
i'd be brave and accepting
but you said
you wouldn't be happy
if it happened
so it definitely can't

i'm not brave anymore,
i'm scared that it won't be okay,
that i won't be okay
in your eyes
and you'll forget
who i am
if i become what
you don't want me to be.

I Will Hold You Forever On Our Last Day Together

09/09.

you'll have to pry yourself
from my arms
the morning you leave,
i'll be crying,
i'll be crying
for three days.

i'm sorry,
but i won't let go
on my own
because that's something
i promised myself
i'd never have to do.

i will never
let you go.

Unaccepting

09/09.

we both knew i would write
about this,
but the truth is
that i don't know what
i can say,
because all i know
is that it's sad
and i won't accept it
even once it happens
i don't think it will
ever set in.

Before I Knew You Were Going Home

08/21.

some things have changed
since we met at the airport in march
and spent that week together
and then met again in june,
and i know
sometimes i let that get to me
because change has always meant
something bad would happen
before i met you

but things have changed,
like your hair isn't as long anymore
(i secretly miss the length)
and we don't kiss with
Shirley temple on our lips
and sometimes i worry about
how things were simpler then,
it was easier to laugh and smile
with few responsibilities

but i know that these things
will come again
and times will be easier soon
and if they aren't we'll still
fight our way through until they pass
because many things have
stayed the same,
like the way we're still in love
and we'll always have each other.

What I Know

08/08.

i just want to be with you, always
that's all that i know anymore
i know how our names sound together
and how your hand feels in mine
and how i would never let go
if i didn't have to,
i don't know anything without you
and i would not know what to do
if you left, for any reason
and i know you won't
and i know that i shouldn't be thinking
like this
but i don't know how to be
someone who is loved forever
and i don't know how to be
the one person you'll ever need
i don't know anything
about anything i need to know
but i do know that you love me
and i do know that i love you
and that's enough to make it all okay,
i know that it's enough.

Typical

08/07.

we didn't meet in a typical way,
but nothing about us is typical

typical would be
everything too easy or too hard
being flawless or far from it
lying to keep things calm
or fighting because we're bored

but we aren't like that,
we tell the truth
and talk, not fight
we play all day
and we're serious when we have to be

because there are no others like us
we are better
and we understand
how important it is to remember that
and to show it to the world

there is no love nor friendship like ours,
our story is far from typical.